(Two girls looking at facebook pictures)
Girl 1: “I feel so bad for people that are just so unattractive…That’s a really mean thing to say. Slap me!
Girl 2: Well it’s not that mean, at least you’re showing some sympathy…
- McLennan Library

Polisci nerd: I’m not a fucking socialist!
- Redpath Library

Girl 1 (to Girl #2): Why do you keep chugging your milk?
Girl 2: I read somewhere that if you drink lots of milk, your breasts get bigger!
Girl 3: Where the hell did you read that?
Girl 2: On a Japanese website…
- RVC Cafeteria

[upon attempting to clarify the negative and derogatory connotations surrounding the F-word]
Prof: If someone on the street does something that offends you, you say “Fuck You!” I highly doubt, however, that you actually mean “I hope you have a happy sexual time this afternoon.”
- Intro to Feminist Theory

Sober guy: Where IS he?? Is he yacking?
Drunk 1st year: I’ll check the washroom
(kicks open door)
Sober guy: And….
Drunk 1st year: well… replace yacking with shitting, and toilet with bathtub
- New Rez

Guy across the hall screaming in pain at his roomates: “Augh fuck! That stove is HOT in case ANYONE wanted to KNOW. Okay? THAT’S what im here for”
- Solin

Ditzy girl: Oh my god, this is just too easy. I get it, Africa is poor. Can’t we all just get over it?
- Lower Campus

Girl: I’m trying to stop drinking so much, so I’m going to need to start smoking more weed.
- Chez Cora’s

Guy 1: All right… but you can’t copy it. I’ll help you instead.
Girl 1 (batting eyelashes): We won’t copy it, we’re not stupid.
Girl 2: Well, we are stupid, we’re just not that stupid.
—Trottier

Nerd: Your friendship is like the limit of 1/x as x approaches 0.
- Macdonald Campus