Girl 1: Where are you from?
Girl 2: Regina.
Girl 1: Ha, yah, we all came from vagina
Girl 3: Actually, I was born from a C-Section
- New Rez

Loud Drunk Guy: And it was only after I took at giant swig from the bottle that I put two and two together and realized that it wasn’t flat beer. It was the bottle I had pissed in earlier.
-Outside Molson Stadium

Guy: I have a lot of respect for icebergs. They’re not trying to show off or anything.
- Aylmer

Student: Well, seeing how Egypt is in Asia, it makes sense that its on the left.
Prof: Actually Egypt is in Africa, and thats not Asia.
-English Literature

Girl: No, but seriously though, I can’t even do coke this year because my new nose is really delicate.
-New Rez

Guy (Picking Up Girl): Do you know the language of love? English?
-Cafe Campus

Guy 1: So I signed up for the Republican Club.
Guy 2: But you’re not Republican, are you?
Guy 1: No, but this guy was wearing a shirt I really liked. I just want the shirt.
- Lower Campus

Girl: Finally! I’m no longer a virgin anymore! And I did it with someone I love. I dunno if he loves me though.
-Campus

Girl 1: Yeah, so, my vagina keeps talking to me.
Girl 2: Really? What does it say?
Girl 1: I don’t know- it keeps speaking French.

Heard by-
Just trying to get a muffin…
- Redpath Library- in front of the Tim Horton’s counter.

Dude: Hey does the drapes match the carpets?
Hot chick: Does my head look like its fucking bleeding?!?