Student: But it’s really hard to get 7 readings into a 5 page paper
Prof: I know it’s difficult; it’s supposed to be. Think of it as a struggle, as your inner jihad.

–anth 340, middle eastern culture and society

[Discussion of the Trojan Prince, Paris, and how he had a way with women]
Prof: Trojan princes had to spend most of their time in the fields and with the animals, so Paris goes out to the hills and amuses himself with the sheep accordingly.
[Entire class starts laughing]
Prof: Oh! No! No! That came out wrong!

–Greek Mythology

(after explaining a growth curve from a small population to a large one)
Prof: Can anyone tell me why there would be growth like this?
Girl Prodigy: Maybe there were no animals at the beginning.
Prof: …well…yes…

–McConnell Engineering

[while discussing some biological topic, prions]
Girl: “I know this is kind of off topic, but why do girls who are living together get their…’time of the month’ together?”
Professor: “Um…. that sure is off topic…”

—Bio 115

Girl: (whispering) “Seriously, what could be better than a lesbian threesome to classical music?”

—Leacock 132

[in Advanced Sociology Class]
Prof: “The following are property crimes: burglary, motor vehicle theft, arson.”
Enthusiastic Student (hand shoots up): “What is burglary?”
Prof: “A property crime.”
(Silence prevails. Class in state of shock.)

TA: So what type of suicide would you classify Kurt Cobain’s as?
American Guy: Wait, sorry, who is this Kurt Cobain?
Class:…
TA:…Ar-Are you serious?

—Soci 326 Conference

[Ed Note: this is the same girl who was disgusted with the gay angel sex]

[Discussion of William Carlos Williams' poetry]

obnoxious girl:”Who names their kid William if their last name is Williams?
[one akwards laugh...then silence]
obnoxious girl, continuing: “I mean, that’s just asking for their kid to get beat up!”

–ENG 202

[In Language Acquisition Lecture]
*professor talks about how most people contract want to to ‘wanna’”
Girl: Wait, I thought that was a middle-class white trash thing.

girl: “…I couldn’t sleep last night so I was thinking about your hair.”

–Sociology classroom