[While watching a documentary on World War I]
A: “so who won in the end??”
B: “take a wild guess.”
A: “i’m not so good at history.”

–Canadian Fiction 2

Prof.: “That woman was absolutely gorgeous. I actually sat through an entire interpretive dance piece portraying nuclear holocaust for two and a half hours for her. Absolutely beautiful…although when she took off her glasses, her left eye did kind of shoot off to the side… but still.”

–Poli 344

(in a conference)
Girl: So is Marx a capitalist? The prof wasn’t really clear on where he stood on the spectrum…
TA: …
Rest of class: …

–Leacock

(talking about exam on Friday)
Professor: “So don’t go drinking thursday night. There’s a beer and pizza Friday. 5:00 we’re getting smashed.”

-Financial Accounting

Ed Note: We got the same quote, from three different submitter, recalled in three different ways. It’s Overheard At McGill’s game of telephone. Each version recalls the exchange differently.

Version 1:
English major fails to comprehend angelology
(In ENGL 202, pur hero [the professor] explains that according to Paradise Lost, angels could have more pleasurable sex than mortals. He also explains that angels were exclusively depicted as males at the time…)
Girl: Who did the angels have sex with?
Ken Borris: Each other.
Girl: EW!

Version 2:
paradise lost?
guy: so they were having gay angel sex?
—-in eng. 202, filled with english majors or minors at 8:30 am

Version 3:
English Lecture on Paradise lost-

Guy- So they all have gay angel sex?
Prof- Uh.. Yeah!
Prejudiced annoying girl who always makes obnoxious comments: EWW!!

Prententious Student: Can we write the exam half in English, and half in French?
TA:…Why would you want to do that?

[Teacher giving lecture on street drugs including pot which he has been going on about for 10 minutes.]
Girl: Are weed and pot the same thing?
Prof: Yes. (and quickly moves on)

[discussing the Orthodox Jews in Israel freeloading on the welfare system]

Professor: “They’re living ‘high off the—well, you cant say ‘high off the hog’ for orthodox jews, but…”

–Politics in Israel

Prof [reading from an article about women]: “They say that 80 percent of the time when women say no to sex they really mean yes”
Random guy [asks hopefully]: “Really? 80?”

—PHIL 240

[Spanish prof, trying to create a discussion on how to give suggestions in Spanish.]

Prof: So, why wouldn’t you accept a drink from a stranger at a party?
Girl: Porque es muy sketchy!

–Intermediate Spanish