Prof: Well, once you take away the rules, then there are no rules.”
-POLI 244

[Spectulating as to why the brains of European men and women are longer and skinnier than those of Japanese men and women]

Asinine girl: Maybe that’s because the Japanese force their babies to sleep on their backs, so their brains get fatter. Europeans must force their babies to sleep on their sides.

::friends of Asinine Girl sheepishly look away::

—LING 390

girl: *raises hand*
prof. salmasi: yes?
girl: you know that graph in the book with all the curved lines?

—Managerial Economics

Prof: Calculators are not allowed on the exam. You’re gonna tell me that you need a calculator to divide 1/2 by 1/3 ??
Female Student: Yes, it’s too hard without one!!!

–Labour Economics

Professor: “It’s a proven statistical correlation! Right before midterms, more students say they have grandparents that just ‘died’.”
Asian girl: “Do they actually die?!”

-ANTH 201

Before a Midterm:
Student: Does the midterm have to be written by hand, or can we type it on a laptop and e-mail it to you at the end?

PROF: In case you havn’t already checked, our final is on the 11th.
GIRL: Of…?

Prof: “So what is terrorism?”
*silence*
Prof: “Well.. it’s like pornography, you know it when you see it”
–Poli244

Teacher to a student: “You’re no cowboy and I’m no mountain, you know”
Students: *blink*

–Civil Engineering Class

Girl: Excuse me, how do you do long division?
TA: *awkward pause*…Are you serious?

–Calculus 2