TA: What’s the difference between Rock and Rock&Roll music
Student: Well, Iraq is a country
- pop music

Prof: It’s the low grade that really tells you what you’re worth.
- Adams Auditorium

(Guy gets up to leave class 10 minutes in.)
Prof: Ugh. I guess I can’t please everyone (pause). I can’t even please my wife sometimes.
- POLI 360

Prof: Anyone with a penis the size of a Cathedral is exempt from this assignment.
(Pause)
Prof: Obviously, I won’t be doing it.

—EDEC 248

Prof: Class is dismissed.
Student: I have an urgent question. Who *really* killed Jesus? I know it wasn’t the Romans.
Prof: No, it was the Romans.
- RELG 210

[upon attempting to clarify the negative and derogatory connotations surrounding the F-word]
Prof: If someone on the street does something that offends you, you say “Fuck You!” I highly doubt, however, that you actually mean “I hope you have a happy sexual time this afternoon.”
- Intro to Feminist Theory

Prof: They thought it would be like any other war… you march in, burn some fields, rape some livestock, steal some women, and go back home.
- HIST 205, Ancient  Mediterranean History

Prof: It’s not a question of actual babies, it’s a question of HYPOTHETICAL babies.
- Stewart Bio

Asian girl: I hate being Asian!
- Modern East Asian History

[Talking about brain lesions.]
Guest Lecturer: “In lesion studies, if you’re looking for small effects, you’re looking in the wrong place. Usually the effects kind of hit you over the head.”
–PSYC 211