Girl who obsesses with the meaningless: Who do you think would win between a pig and a bat? I think a bat would win!

—Second Cup on McGill College

[Concordia guy bitching about engineering]
Concordia Guy: It’s brutal, I have to take, like, thermodynamics!
McGill Girl: You want brutal? Brutal is McGill physiology. But seriously, isn’t thermodynamics like exothermic and endothermic and stuff??
Concordia Guy: Well…yeah….but it’s harder than it sounds!!
McGill Girl: What, like exo is negative and endo is positive??
Concordia Guy: (pause) That’s fuckin hard to remember okay?!

—Tim Hortons

Girl 1: It’ll be like that song “Saturday night’s alright for fighting. Saturday.. Saturday”
Girl 2: Yeah… except it’s Sunday.

—Tim Horton’s on University

Girl: I’m taking Italian Culture, doing a research project, and an Oncology class.
Guy 1: Oh, oncology is fascinating, isn’t it.
Guy 2: Yeah…the female anatomy is pret…ty…interesting.
(Awkward Silence)
Guy 1: Uhhhhhh, you’re thinking of…gynecology.

—St. Laurent Second Cup

Girl 1: Oh my god, what time is it?
Girl 2: 11:10
Girl 1: Okay, so we have 40 minutes until your birthday!
Girl 2: …No, 50 minutes.
Girl 1: You know I hate math!

—Calories Cafe

Girl #1 :  So she told me he sleeps with a stuffed animal that he holds to his chest
Girl #2 :  Well isnt that Freudian or something,doesnt that mean he, like, needs affection?
Girl #3 : ummm well if she is their half naked why isn`t he holding her close to his chest  . maybe its cause she is fat?

 –Second Cup, Milton

(while studying for some sort of geography final)
Guy: so in order for it to be classified as a glacier it has to be both made of snow AND be moving.
Girl: well what if it’s not moving, what is it then?
*silence*
Guy: ummmm….ice.

—Second Cup

Guy 1: Yeah, there’s no such thing as hippies anymore. I wonder why…
Guy 2: Well, they never really had an agenda, they were just assholes who didn’t bathe.

—Coffee Shop

Manly Man 1: So how’s the apartment without kittens??
Manly Man 2: [sighs] I don’t want to talk about it…it sucks.

–Coffee Shop

Kid 1: “Why, do Jews play chess particularily fast or something?”
Kid 2: “Of course. Time is money”

–Off Campus Coffee Shop