Girl 1: Hey guys, guess what, today is Pi Day!
Girl 2: Oh yeah, cuz its 3/14! Nice!
Girl 3: Isn’t there another one of those holidays..like a pot one?
Girl 2: Yeah, its April 20th
Girl 1: Why 4/20?
Girl 2: Some smokers in California used to always get high at 4:20 in the afternoon.
Girl 1: That’s so cool! OMG, imagine how fun it’ll be when the year is 1420!
Girl 2: *pause* 1420 already happened…

—New Rez

*waiter is serving customers coffee*
Stoned at Breakfast 1: Dude, you realize I’m gonna have to pee like St. Nicholas when this coffee’s done.
Stoned at Breakfast 2: Saint Nicholas! As in, Santa Claus?
Stoned at Breakfast 1: The one and only.
—Place Milton

Guy: Yeah, you know, when I don’t blaze my OCD really comes out…

—-Prince Arthur

[four friends studying together; tired, delirious...except one]

Blonde: Well I’m really bloated because all I drink is milk…And I finished an entire bottle of ranch dressing in two days…so then I took three laxatives…yeah.

[A student raises his hand and asks a question]

Prof: Mike? Are you stoned again in class? Come on…you know there’s a time and place for everything. And after 4:00 is reefer time.

—Cognition

Girl: “Hey, how much was that eighth you bought last weekend?”
Guy: “Eighth? What’s an eighth? Is it like three-quarters?”

—Plateau

Stoned Guy: Do you have anything with, like, protein or cheese in it?
Stoned Girl: YOU’RE EATING JEWS???!!
Stoned Guy: Cheese! Not Jews, cheese!

—Rue Ste-Famille

[At around 2 in the afternoon]
Guy 1: Shit man, done with lectures for the day
Guy 2: Wanna do some coke and play DDR?
Guy 1: Sure!

—St. Laurent

(Stoners walk into a elevator)
Stoned Skinny Girl: I still cant figure out why it makes that sound.
(The skinny girl keeps knocking her fist into her lung. It makes a drum-like sound)
Stoned Skinny Girl: Its almost like my heart is thumping.
Stoned Guy: Maybe its like cause the lung is a cavity or something.
Skinny Stoned Girl: Even if its a cavity why would it make that sound?
(The stoners exit. Still confused)

– Molson Hall Elevator

[group of guys smoking in front of entrance]
Guy #1: It’s crazy getting roofied.
Guy #2: yeah, I got roofied once too.

–Outside Redpath Library