(Two girls talking loudly in the back of crowded elevator.)
Girl 1: I’m so lonely, I wish I had a pet.
Girl 2: Pets are great but a lot of work you know.
Girl 1: Do you know what I’ve always wanted as a pet?
Girl 2: What?
Girl 1: A MIDGET! They are so cute! I want one!
(Girl 2 giggles, rest of elevator is dead silent.)

—Education Elevator

Elevator opens on the 10th floor.
Guy one enters, giggling.
Guy two: (enters) yo, i can’t believe joe threw that guy out the window.
Guy one: (giggles)
Guys exit on floor 8
Elevator continues on its journey to RC in shock
- New Rez

(Stoners walk into a elevator)
Stoned Skinny Girl: I still cant figure out why it makes that sound.
(The skinny girl keeps knocking her fist into her lung. It makes a drum-like sound)
Stoned Skinny Girl: Its almost like my heart is thumping.
Stoned Guy: Maybe its like cause the lung is a cavity or something.
Skinny Stoned Girl: Even if its a cavity why would it make that sound?
(The stoners exit. Still confused)

– Molson Hall Elevator

“Everybody down! I’m hijacking the elevator!!”

…[awkward minute of silence]…

–McConnell Engineering Elevator