Girl: (whispering) “Seriously, what could be better than a lesbian threesome to classical music?”

—Leacock 132

guy #1: some people say that i’m metrosexual.
guy #2: really?
guy #1: no, not really. i just made that up.
guy #2: oh.

[Two guys walking out of the fitness centre]
Guy 1 (to Guy 2): “I feel like we should just get married. At least then cheating is a sin against God.”
Guy 2: “God already hates us.”
Guy 1: “Speak for yourself, homo.”

–McGill Gym

Ed Note: We got the same quote, from three different submitter, recalled in three different ways. It’s Overheard At McGill’s game of telephone. Each version recalls the exchange differently.

Version 1:
English major fails to comprehend angelology
(In ENGL 202, pur hero [the professor] explains that according to Paradise Lost, angels could have more pleasurable sex than mortals. He also explains that angels were exclusively depicted as males at the time…)
Girl: Who did the angels have sex with?
Ken Borris: Each other.
Girl: EW!

Version 2:
paradise lost?
guy: so they were having gay angel sex?
—-in eng. 202, filled with english majors or minors at 8:30 am

Version 3:
English Lecture on Paradise lost-

Guy- So they all have gay angel sex?
Prof- Uh.. Yeah!
Prejudiced annoying girl who always makes obnoxious comments: EWW!!

[Two 11-year-olds on the 80 bus passing New Rez where two rainbow flags are hanging down]

Kid 1: What’s that flag?
Kid 2: It’s the Outgames flag.
Kid 1: No, the one with the 6 different colours.
Kid 2. Oh. I think that might be the McGill flag.

Guy 1: Do you think he’s gay?
Guy 2: Well, we’ve never seen him make out with a guy.
Guy 1: Yeah, but we’ve never seen him make out with a girl either.

—Near Milton Gates

Teacher to a student: “You’re no cowboy and I’m no mountain, you know”
Students: *blink*

–Civil Engineering Class

Heterosexual 2: You burnt my rotis!
Heterosexual 1: Well you can just suck my dick!
Heterosexual(?)2: Can I?

–Rez Kitchen

Guy: He has fake boobies…(awkward silence)…I touch his boobies all the time…
–McGill Ghetto

Guy 1, to Guy 2: Wow, I really like your new sweater, and your new shoes…I dont wanna sound gay by picking out all your new clothes…uh….

–Downtown MTL