Girl 1: I need a boy.
Girl 2: I’ll find you a bump buddy. You can sleep with my brother if you want.

Girl: “Yeah I definately slipped up there. He has my…”
Guy: “…Panties?”
Girl: “GOD NO. My dignity, yes, but I’m proud to say my panties are all accounted for.”

–Redpath

Girl#1: so like, do you know where the books are here?
Everyone else: *stunned*

—in Redpath Library basement

Girl 1: Hey where have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever
Girl 2: O you wouldn’t believe me if I told you
Girl 1: Seriously
Girl 2: Fooling around with Bob for four straight days… I’m exhausted
Girl 1: I see, you came to the library to sleep

“Why is there a statue of Abraham Lincoln in a Canadian university library?”
“Because he is Abraham Lincoln.  Who doesn’t love Abraham Lincoln?”
“Um, John Wilkes Boothe.  Just a guess…”

—4th Floor McClennan

Girl #1: So I told him that if he wasn’t going to ask me out I wasn’t gonna waste my time…
Girl #2: By the way whats with all the hobos in this library?
Girl #1: ummm off topic…
Girl #2: beh last year i was studying and this crazy hobo lady came in dressed in like a bag, sat in the corner, took off her shoes to air out her feet and proceeded to stare me down while picking at them and talking to herself.
Girl #1: So I really don’t know what he wants…
Girl #2: Wait I thought we were talking about the hobo…

—Redpath 

[group of guys smoking in front of entrance]
Guy #1: It’s crazy getting roofied.
Guy #2: yeah, I got roofied once too.

–Outside Redpath Library

Security Guard: Excuse me, you can’t eat in here.
Student [pulling bite of sandwich from under table]: Come on, it’s just one last bite.
Security Guard: You’re not allowed to eat in the library.
Ballsy Student: I know.  That’s why I was hiding it.
Security Guard: *walks away*

—McClennan Library

Exasperated girl to her friend: How am I supposed to write 8 pages on the Roman Empire? I haven’t even seen Gladiator!!

—McLennan Library