(Prof is talking about factorials)
Management Boy: n minus n equals four!

-MATH 123, Linear Algebra and Probability

Girl 1: Hey guys, guess what, today is Pi Day!
Girl 2: Oh yeah, cuz its 3/14! Nice!
Girl 3: Isn’t there another one of those holidays..like a pot one?
Girl 2: Yeah, its April 20th
Girl 1: Why 4/20?
Girl 2: Some smokers in California used to always get high at 4:20 in the afternoon.
Girl 1: That’s so cool! OMG, imagine how fun it’ll be when the year is 1420!
Girl 2: *pause* 1420 already happened…

—New Rez

Girl 1: Ugh, I got 2/8 on my last bio quiz
Girl 2: Oh, well at least that’s a solid 20 percent!
(pause)
Girl 1: Don’t you mean 25 percent?
Girl 2: ..fuck, this is why I’m failing calculus!

—Milton Gates

Guy: What’s 14+9?
Girl: 21. (looks satisfied with her quick and “correct” answer)
Guy: Damn, you’re fast.
Girl: Haha, you thought you almost had me there.

—New Rez elevator

Teacher: Proving the equation is easy, but how do you derive it?
Student: You google it and then confirm the answer?

—Math 249

TA: The x’s cancel, and you see, that leaves us with 7=3.4
(pause)
TA: hmmmm…that doesn’t look right.

Guy: I have 7 calculators. I have a financial calculator, I have one for adding and subtracting…
Girl: I have 2 calculators.
Guy: Only 2? How do you live with yourself?

—Schluich

Guy: Three games, three teams of 11 each. thats 999 people.
Everyone looks around awkwardly.
Guy: I did my math wrong didnt I. I’m doing Literature and Linguistics as a major, I can only read!

—Gardner Rez Council

Management Girl (Talking to her friend in Science): You Science people think that you know everything. Just because you’re in Science doesn’t mean that you know more than me.
Science Friend: Alright, why don’t you prove it? What does the C in E = mc² stand for?
Management girl (Being completely serious): Thats too easy. THE C stands for CHAOS!!
—Gardner

(Prof has just been explaining molecular orbitals for the last half hour)
Student: Yes but what about E = mc² ?
(entire class stares in silence….)
Prof: Ok… ummm…. that has absolutely nothing to do with any of this.
—-Chem 212

[Ed Note: When one of our edtiors read these two quotes, it resulted in the following:]
(at a party)
Editor: Hey, do me a favor.
girl: Sure
Editor: What’s the e in E = mc² stand for?
Girl: (confused look) …?
Editor: E… = mc².
Girl: …?
Editor: Einstein?
Girl: What?
Editor: You just made my day, I love you.

Asian girl (to her gaggle of white friends): “But I just don’t get it! Like, I mean, I’m Asian, I’m not supposed to be this bad at math!”

—McTavish and Sherbrooke