Still Drunk Girl: Where’s the ‘r’ on the keyboard?
Guy: Really?
Still Drunk Girl: Oh, wait, is that what the little house means… homepage? Wow!
Guy: Oh my god.

—Stewart Bio

Guy 1: man, you know when we were drunk last night and thought [redacted] was in his room? turns out he was going down on [redacted].
Guy 2: that’s disgusting. dude i saw her with her shirt off yesterday and i almost puked up my free beer.
- ATOC-240

“If I look through my beer glass, she looks kind of pretty.”
- Brutopia

Girl: So how was your night last night?
Guy: I dunno, we’ll have to see what the Facebook pictures say
- SnowAP Tent

Girl: “I know you have a girlfriend, but I’m really drunk. Can I just put my head in your lap for a little bit?”

—at a party

Girl 1: Are we going out tonight?
Girl 2: I don’t know, but if we do, what are you going to wear?
Girl 1: You know that shirt you have that makes my tits look huge?
Girl 2: Yeah…?
Girl 1: I want to borrow that.
—Milton & University

Girl #1: maybe if our lives didn’t suck…
Girl #2: yeah, non-sucking lives would be good…

—at BDP