Guy (to his friend) :Sometimes I feel like a stripper preaching to a nun

—McConnell Engineering

Guy 1: I have a picture of your penis!
Guy 2:Really? Post it on facebook later!

—MORE house

Girl 1: Sex is so amazing, like, with-
Girl 2: -Someone who is really hot??
Girl 1: Uhh yea…or just, like, someone you really care about…
Girl 2: [Blank stare] Oh..
—Upper Rez

Student 1: Why don’t the Germans just have one word for “to put”? Honestly this is just ridiculous.
Prof: Well it’s just that the Germans are anal about their positions.
Student 2: Touche

—Sherbrooke 688

Girl 1: I don’t like it when my vagina’s itchy.
Girl 2: (not hearing what Girl 1 has said) I hate it when hair gets stuck in my lips.

—Milton Gates

(a bunch of Engineers playing Halo 2)
Engineer 1: You’re raping everyone, man!
Engineer 2: Yeah, I mean, that’s illegal in some states.
Engineer 3: Uh… some?

—Engineering Lounge

(moans and groans behind locked room door, a line of guys are waiting outside to deliver high-fives)

(Door opens)
Guy leaving room: “What, we were on msn!”

—Douglas Hall

Concerned Friend: You should take it easy drinking.
Drunk Girl: I am easy!!!

—-Douglas

Girl 1: I need a boy.
Girl 2: I’ll find you a bump buddy. You can sleep with my brother if you want.

Girl: (Filling out questionnaire at blood drive) Do I have prostate problems?

—McConnell Blood Drive