Girl 1: You are a fat whore….well, minus the fat part
Girl 2: whatever–I’d rather be a whore than fat
—New Rez

Girl 1: I don’t know how you can use a tampon.  I’ve never used one. Anyways, even if I did I wouldn’t know what hole to put it in.
Girl 2: (looking embarrassed) um..
Girl 1: I mean, what if i miss? Or what if it gets stuck and the string gets ripped off and it won’t come out?

–Stanley

Girl 1: Yo, I woke up without pants on. What even happened last night?
Girl 2: You passed out on the toilet with the door wide open. We tried to put your pants back on, but you wouldn’t let us.
Girl 1: Oh thank God, I thought I had sex.

–Gardner Hall 

Girl 1: Yeah, he is really cute but he lives in Solin and thats far.
Girl 2:  Yeah totally. Long distance relationships are way too hard.

—New Rez Caf

(girl takes off her sweater, revealing a tank top underneath, as the professor is talking)
Professor: Do you want music with that?
Girl: What?
Professor: You appear to be taking off all your clothes. Would you like music with that?
Class: (shocked silence, scattered laughs)

—ECON 209 (Intro. to Macroeconomics)

Model UN Delegate: That makes about as much sense as opening a gay bar in Texas.

—McMun 2007

Girl: I’m taking Italian Culture, doing a research project, and an Oncology class.
Guy 1: Oh, oncology is fascinating, isn’t it.
Guy 2: Yeah…the female anatomy is pret…ty…interesting.
(Awkward Silence)
Guy 1: Uhhhhhh, you’re thinking of…gynecology.

—St. Laurent Second Cup

(3 girls chatting on the blue couches; kinda-feminist girl has to sell tickets to the Vagina Monologues)
kinda-feminist girl: You guys should come see the Vagina Monologues.
other girl: Mmmm, I think it’s too feminist for me.
kinda-feminist girl: (slightly sarcastic) Oh OK then why don’t you just go have children and live in your kitchen?
other girl: Haha. Well, still I might walk out of the play feeling like I don’t have to shave my legs anymore.

—Shatner lounge

Girl: He was going to announce how I had a sex dream about my brother when I was like twelve.

Guy: Yeah, but it’s different dreaming it than if you actually WANT to.

—Gert’s