Girl: Ever since I started making an effort to look good for school, I’ve felt so good about myself. Now, people are calling me! (pause) For sex.

-Sherbrooke and McGill College

Girl: Don’t have sex on the couch!
Guy: Why not? You can have sex on the couch, I don’t mind.
Girl: Mhh, you wouldn’t like that. I’m a fountain.

-Aylmer

Professor: The age of consent varies with age and level of authority, so a professor cannot legally have sex with a student who is 17… So, please take out your driver’s licenses.

-Jewish Studies Building

Girl: Man, I was so upset when I got my period this morning! I was looking forward to having a month off and just getting an abortion in a couple of weeks. Seriously, sometimes life just isn’t fair.

-Molson Hall

Guy #1: Pineapple is the best fruit on earth. If I had to choose between eating pineapple and having sex, I would definitely choose pineapple.
Guy #2: No…I would choose sex.

-Burnside Hall, Geo Lounge.

Professor: Suppose a woman goes in for a haircut. No, that’s not right… what are they called if they’re for women? Blow… something. Blowjobs?

-Econ 208

Guy 1: Viruses are like the STDs of porn.
Guy 2: Yeah, that’s why you use a Mac. It’s like wearing a condom.
Guy 1: Yeah, but it just doesn’t feel the same.

-Duluth

Upper year girl, on a recent relationship with a much younger student: I couldn’t get him into bed any other way. I had to date him!

- McGill Ghetto

Girl: Finally! I’m no longer a virgin anymore! And I did it with someone I love. I dunno if he loves me though.
-Campus

Girl 1: You are definitely sluttier than I am.
Girl 2: No way. You are!
Girl 1: You are sleeping with two guys.
Girl 2: You sleep with guys and don’t call them back…EVER.
Girl 1: Is that slutty?
- Cybertheque