Girl1: So now I’m wondering if I’m pregnant, or just getting fat…
Girl2: Oh my god, I hope you’re pregnant, at least then you can get an abortion!
- BMH

Girl 1: Don’t worry. She’s your friend. Of course she’s going to forgive you for sleeping with her boyfriend. It’s what friends do.
Girl 2: Yeah… thanks. You’re probably right. I wonder if he’s busy tonight.
- University St.

Girl 1: So why didn’t you sleep with him?
Girl 2: I only sleep with people if I’m facebook friends with them.
- Chez Jose

Prof: So today we’ll be discussing logical fallacies.
Girl: Excuse me Professor, but does fallacy have anything to do with fellatio or fellatious? I mean they’re similar, do they have the same origin or something?
[Prof and class stifle laughter]
- Research Essay and Rhetoric Class, Sherbrooke 688

Law student guy: (Reading out loud) ‘Due to the rising popularity of sex…’ Wait! When was sex ever unpopular?! Oh…’rising popularity of sex offender registries.’ I guess I had to keep reading the sentence.
- Law Library

(Guy gets up to leave class 10 minutes in.)
Prof: Ugh. I guess I can’t please everyone (pause). I can’t even please my wife sometimes.
- POLI 360

Horny punk girl: You know what I have always wanted to do?
Horny preppy girl: What?
(As Guy in Engineering Shirt passes)
Horny punkgirl: A McGill Engineering student!!! Don’t you just feel it is something thats needs to be done at least once in your life.
- Mcconnell Enginering building

“Just imagine that her face is on fire and you need to pee it out!”
—McLennon Library

Prof: Anyone with a penis the size of a Cathedral is exempt from this assignment.
(Pause)
Prof: Obviously, I won’t be doing it.

—EDEC 248

Male Party Promoter: It’s gonna be crazy!! Don’t you want to get laid?!?!
Male Skeptic: Not by you!
- Clubs and Activities Fair on MacTavish