Guy: I hug you and all I get is head.

- outside Wong

Guy: If either of us was to become a paranoid schizophrenic and kill someone, I think it’s less likely to be me…

-Arts Building Steps

Guy:…and that’s how I got Herpes in both my eyes.

-University and Milton

Student 1: (looks at paper) Wait, so what is this? Egyptian?
Student 2: No, actually that’s math…

–Trottier

Girl 1: Eating someone’s brains after they die is thoughtful?!
Girl 2: So they can live on through you!
Girl 3: Through what, your shit?!

- McTavish

Girl: Wait, wait.. What’s your name?
Guy: It rhymes with Fran. Just take out the R and change the F.
Girl: Tyler?

-MORE house

A group of guys were talking while walking to class

Guy: “So on one side there was a pussy, and on the other side it had a grizzly bear standing up.”

- McGill Ghetto

“I got really drunk and woke up in a corn field in Minnesota.”

-the benches by Leacock

Guy #1: Pineapple is the best fruit on earth. If I had to choose between eating pineapple and having sex, I would definitely choose pineapple.
Guy #2: No…I would choose sex.

-Burnside Hall, Geo Lounge.

Prof: There have been accounts of down syndrome kids who’ve done really well, gone on to get university degrees… usually from Concordia.

-Stewart Bio