Overheard At McGill

Friday, April 10, 2009

And by the way, I’m pregnant…and constipated.

Girl: What’s a prophylactic? Does it make you poop?

-Milton Gates

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Does he have a beard? No… Does he wear glasses? No… Is it Francis? Yes!

Girl 1: You know she slept with the Le Main boy last night?
Girl 2: The one she lost her virginity to?
Girl 1: Nope.
Girl 2: Oh, was it the one she fucked before reading week?
Girl 1: Nope…

-Campus

Monday, April 6, 2009

Unfortunately, this is generally a different type of screwing.

Professor: Markets are like prostitutes. You give them money, and they do whatever you want.

ECON209

Saturday, April 4, 2009

I can’t help it if the animals I kill have heavy flows and wide-set vaginas!

Professor: The slaughter industry is the biggest user of tampons in Canada.

-Class

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

What, I like my toothpaste with a little kick.

Drunk girl: YOU smell like peppermint schnapps, too!
Sober girl: Actually, that’s my toothpaste…

–Durocher

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Evil Knievel Had Like 30 Kids Or Something.

Girl 1: If the guy is really big, wouldn’t you be more likely to get pregnant?
Girl 2: No, only when his balls are big.

- New Rez

Thursday, March 26, 2009

And it doesn’t help that it’s not my apartment…

Guy: I feel like a rapist when I open doors with gloves on.

–Leacock

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Bar Mitzvah Scene Isn’t What It Used To Be

Girl 1: I hate him! He’s always smoking and getting high and bringing girls home and shit.
Girl 2: Well, older brothers are like that.
Girl 1: No, no, he’s 13.

-Roddick Gates

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

That F is your grade, it’s not your transcript trying to swear at you.

Student 1:Where is the exam? Students are telling me different things… time and place please!?

TA: The midterm is in class.

Student 2: i looked up the building code for CLASS and couldn’t find it!!

-WebCT

Monday, March 23, 2009

Don’t get her started on the penal code.

Boy: I just got an interview with a law firm.
Girl: You want to be a lawyer?
Boy: No, I want to be a paralegal.
Girl: But… you can walk…

- Ghetto

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