“The Brown Student Services Building??.. What? Where do the white people go?”

-McTavish Gates

While answering questions in Essentials of English Grammar:

Prof: Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I was thinking of Samuel L. Jackson.

-ED216

Guy #1: Pineapple is the best fruit on earth. If I had to choose between eating pineapple and having sex, I would definitely choose pineapple.
Guy #2: No…I would choose sex.

-Burnside Hall, Geo Lounge.

Girl 1: What did you think of the midterm?
Girl 2: It wasn’t easy but it wasn’t hard either, you know what I mean?
Girl 3: Yea totally!
Girl 2:I mean I didn’t even study and I got 40%!

- Campus

Girl: It’s really hard being anglophone…

-Lower Field

After discussing media attacks on the violence in video games.

Guy: I have an obligation not to kill anyone, because if I did the whole media would go crazy over all the video games I’ve played!

-Burnside Basement

[Guy talking to a girl about his MCAT study books]

Girl: You shouldn’t be worried about getting into med school. You should be, like, worried about getting alcohol poisoning over the weekend.
-BIO 111 LAB

A guy sits down with a girl, takes out a cigarette and starts trying to light it. He has some extreme difficulty getting it lit, and has obviously never smoked before.

Girl (laughing): Hey, do you want some help with that?
Guy: No, no, I’ve got to practice smoking. Let me do it.
Girl: Seriously? You’re practicing how to smoke?
Guy: Yeah! It’s on my list of things to do. See? (takes out agenda) “Laundry, conference sign-up, smoke.”
Girl looks stunned.
Guy: I don’t want to look like an idiot when I go to Amsterdam!

-in front of Macdonald Harrington building

Professor: Suppose a woman goes in for a haircut. No, that’s not right… what are they called if they’re for women? Blow… something. Blowjobs?

-Econ 208

Guy: I’m from Beaconsfield, it’s on the island of Montreal.
Girl: Where is the island of Montreal?

-New Rez