Prof: [looking at Girl 1] …Are you from the US?
Girl 2: She’s wearing a Roots sweater – why did you think that she was from the US?
Prof: I’m wearing no underwear. Where am I from?

- Leacock

Girl: My sister got swine flu…
Guy: Oh yeah?
Girl: … then she passed it to my dog.

-Bronfman

Girl 1: I’m not a fan of the cock.
Girl 2: …..excuse me?
Girl 1: You know. The Cock. Cockiness. In guys?
Girl 2: *stares in awe*

- Adams Auditorium

Guy: Every time they make salmon I just want to yell, “smells like slut in here!”
-BMH

Girl: I know that we sweat more in summer than in winter, but I don’t remember why!

-RVC

Prof: Firms get a hard on when they make profits….

- Econ 225

Girl: 7 Kids out of 1000? Jeez What percentage is that?

-Leacock Auditorium

Professor: What population has a high rate of myopia?
Student: Nerds?

-Leacock

(Ed Note: Tasteless rape-related quote has been moved under the fold; more objectionable than usual.) (more…)

Girl 1: Hey do you want to revise for chem tomorrow?
Girl 2: I can’t, I’m going to the procastination workshop at 2.

-Leacock