Girl: I’m SICK of global warming! The sun keeps going down earlier and earlier!!!

-Upper Rez

Guy #1: So how are you going to get citizenship in both England and Canada?
Guy #2: I told you, I’m getting dual citizenship. It’s pretty normal.
Guy #1: OHHH. I thought you said jewel citizenship, like some weird British thing.

-Schulich Library

Girl on the phone: So I figured it out. I thought I had swine flu because I had all the symptoms, including the nausea. But now I think it was just a hangover.

-Metro Grocery Store

Girl #1: Dude! That girl definitely just cut us in line! You gotta say something to her.
Girl #2: Ahh I can’t. She irrigates my crops on Farmville.

-New Rez

Girl #1: Can I make an appointment to see an adviser?
Guy Behind Counter: Yeah, sure. Your assigned adviser is available.
Girl #1: Uh…..can I see someone else? She made me cry last time.
Girl #2 In Line: OMG me too!
Girl #3: YEAH me too!!!

-Dawson Hall

Concordia Girl: So what do you do at McGill?
McGill Guy: I’m doing my masters in Pharmacology.
Concordia Girl: Oh you work with animals?!
McGill Guy: Um, it’s spelled with a PH.

-St. Laurent

Girl: The B.O. was just so overwhelming. I was like…come on engineers.

-Roddick Gates

Prof: The three things that Canadians have in common are hockey, a smug sense that the American health care system sucks, and its identity as a peace keeping nation.
Guy: And milk.
Prof: You have to stop bringing up milk, sometimes it fits sometimes it doesn’t.
Girl: That’s what she said.

-McConnell Engineering

Prof: Angela Davis will be here on Friday to give a talk… Now, does anyone know who Angela Davis is?

Student: Isn’t that the woman who was raped and killed?

-Adams Auditorium

Girl: Where can I find the listing with all the jobs that I can apply for?
Receptionist: Do you know myFuture?
Girl: WHAT? Your future?

-CAPS