Guy: This is the first time I’ve been to class sober in a long time. Class should have an open bar.
-Leacock 132

Prof: The most common way to experience the feeling of ecstasy is through orgasm… Have you all had orgasms? I hope so… That’s your homework tonight. Everyone needs to go home and have an orgasm.

-Arts Legacy

Girl 1: So like, when did he start getting so much ass? Is he even that attractive?
Girl 2: No! I think he just started getting ass when he started his blog.
- McGill Gym

Girl 1: I really like when windows are look-through resistant.
Girl 2: You mean tinted?
-Durocher & Prince Arthur

Guy 1: Did you know that Jesus studied with the Buddha?
Guy 2: How is that even possible? Buddha is from the Year Minus 5000, and Jesus was from like, Year 0.
– New Rez Cafeteria

Guy: How do we find out what lab group we are in? Can it be found online?
Girl: Math 139 has labs!!!!!!?????
Prof: This class has no labs.
-Math Discussion Boards

Girl: It’s like the Rogers people put an electric buzzer up your vagina and it goes off every time you try to call customer service!

- Lower field

(discussing Rez Council elections)
Girl: I’d totally be his VP Internal.

- Lower Campus

Girl: God, I’ve been so generous today! I gave away bacon, ham, sausage…vagina…

- Place Milton

Girl: Being a prostitute in Mexico? Thats actually a pretty good idea.
Boy: Umm, why?
Girl: All the guys are tan there!
-Milton Gates