Girl: Yeah, I saw a lot of penises this weekend.

–Trottier

Girl: He was on top of me, and the next thing I know he started to take off his dinosaur suit.

–Arts Building

Guy on the phone, in a serious tone: No, I totally understand you. This is serious, this is war. This is modern fucking war. You know what, we just have to put bacon bits everywhere.

-University and Milton

Guy 1: Yeah, I heard he gave her a little Valentine’s day present.

Guy 2: I’d give her a BIG Valentine’s Day present.

*Pause*

Guy 2: My penis!

Guy: Yeah, i got her a fucking heart-shaped box of chocolate and shit.
Girl: Aww, that’s so romantic.

-Campus

Librarian: “Just start milking the bibliographic cow.”

-HIST 396

Guy (on phone): You’re just looking for the cheapest way possible to get completely wasted. Here at McGill, we have class. We drink, like, Rum Runner.

-University & Milton

(Prof is discussing how the world is “getting smaller” due to technology)

Girl 1: Wait, why is the world getting smaller?
Girl 2: I don’t know; Global Warming or something…

-Leacock

Girl: (asks forcefully) What about the rights of the mother?

Guy: Easy there, feminist…

-Leacock

Girl 1: The only thing keeping me in university is fear of what other people would think if I dropped out.

Girl 2: Yeah, if it weren’t for society, I would totally just go to Mexico and be a prostitute.

-Second Cup