Girl 1: Sex is like the best diet ever. You burn so many calories.

Girl 2: Uhhhh, that’s not a diet, that’s an exercise regime.

Girl 1: Not the sex I have…

Girl 2: Gross.

-Prince Arthur

Professor: The great thing about being a nurse is that you can see whoever you want naked.

-Duff Building

Professor: Do you have any experience in Asia?

Student: Not really… Well, I lived in Vancouver for a little bit.

-Leacock

Guy 1: So you think I should tell her?

Guy 2: No dude, a zit on the dick is definitely not first date material.

-Redpath

As you may have noticed, Overheard as slowed down a bit, with exams and whatnot. This is partially us being busy and you not submitting (probably because you are busy). So, here’s the memo. We’re goin’ on break. We’ll be back at the beginning of Winter Semester, so don’t you worry.

Have a good break getting drunk with your less smart friends at home.

(Guy and Girl riding in a elevator)
Girl: I said “groups”, NOT boobs. God.
Guy: Oh. (Pause) Sorry, I see boobs everywhere; everything is boobs to me. (Points to the elevator buttons.) Look at these – nipples arranged in a particular pattern.

–Schulich

Girl 1: So, are you coming back for New Year’s?
Girl 2: Oh, definitely… when is New Year’s this year? The 31st?
Girl 1: Yeah, I think so…

-HISP 225

Guy:…and that’s how I got Herpes in both my eyes.

-University and Milton

Freshman Girl: Excuse me, where did you get that Tim Hortons cup?

Confused Older Student: Uhh… Tim Hortons?

-Schulich

A couple is walking out of a restaurant.

Guy: Now it’s time for surprise number three!
Girl: Don’t you mean surprise number two?
Guy: No, surprise two was taking you to dinner.
Girl: What was surprise number one, then?
Guy: Having sex before dinner.

Girl pauses to think.

Girl: Oh, right.

-St. Catherine