Prof: “I hope this doesn’t happen, but…if you randomly dissected 1/3 of the class…”
–Psychology 100

Girl 1: We had to do 40 hours of community service in high school.
Girl 2: Yeah, I think we had to do 60.
Girl 3: Um, our school had machete fights.

—Redpath caf

Girl #1 :  So she told me he sleeps with a stuffed animal that he holds to his chest
Girl #2 :  Well isnt that Freudian or something,doesnt that mean he, like, needs affection?
Girl #3 : ummm well if she is their half naked why isn`t he holding her close to his chest  . maybe its cause she is fat?

 –Second Cup, Milton

(Girl 1 walks into Tim Hortons at Redpath during exam period. Girl 2 spots her)
Girl 2: “Hey, are you here for exams?”

Girl#1: so like, do you know where the books are here?
Everyone else: *stunned*

—in Redpath Library basement

(Outside final exam for Intro to Organiational Behaviour, in which sexual harassment is one of the topics covered)
Girl: Oh, are you here for the exam?
Guy: No, I’m just here to stare at your tits.

—Bronf 151

Guy 1: She said she still has her V-Card, but she’s given head to over 20 different guys!
Guy 2: Well, technically she’s a virgin.
Guy 1: No, technically she’s a slut.

—-Burnside Basement

“It doesn’t snow in Dubai?”

—Prince Arthur and Parc

(in a room full of people)
Girl: yeah, I had mono in grade 10-
Guy: (trying to tell a joke) Last July, I thought I had mono. So I went to the doctor – turns out I’m just really lazy!

–New Rez

[At around 2 in the afternoon]
Guy 1: Shit man, done with lectures for the day
Guy 2: Wanna do some coke and play DDR?
Guy 1: Sure!

—St. Laurent