Guy 1: I have a picture of your penis!
Guy 2:Really? Post it on facebook later!

—MORE house

Girl 1: Sex is so amazing, like, with-
Girl 2: -Someone who is really hot??
Girl 1: Uhh yea…or just, like, someone you really care about…
Girl 2: [Blank stare] Oh..
—Upper Rez

Student: We were taught, ‘Be yourself, be yourself, that way you won’t become a stripper.’
-BIOL 112 Lab

Stripclub solicitor: we’ve got nipples and clits and jiggly tits. come on in.
Guy: if he just added an ‘oh my’ to the end, i might have changed my mind.
—outside stripclub

Guy: So I’m thinking of going to Israel, you know, with birthright and all.
Girl: Wow! That’s so great, I would love to have a free trip to Europe!

—Law Atrium

Prof: What is the Jewish afterlife?
Student 1: Heaven and Hell.
Jewish Student: Has anybody ever been there??

—RELG 207

Student 1: Why don’t the Germans just have one word for “to put”? Honestly this is just ridiculous.
Prof: Well it’s just that the Germans are anal about their positions.
Student 2: Touche

—Sherbrooke 688

Girl 1: I don’t like it when my vagina’s itchy.
Girl 2: (not hearing what Girl 1 has said) I hate it when hair gets stuck in my lips.

—Milton Gates

(a bunch of Engineers playing Halo 2)
Engineer 1: You’re raping everyone, man!
Engineer 2: Yeah, I mean, that’s illegal in some states.
Engineer 3: Uh… some?

—Engineering Lounge

Asian girl (to her gaggle of white friends): “But I just don’t get it! Like, I mean, I’m Asian, I’m not supposed to be this bad at math!”

—McTavish and Sherbrooke