[Prof writes a URL on the blackboard and puts a slash through a '0' to distinguish it from an 'o']
Stupid Girl: “How do you make that symbol on your computer?”

—Rutherford Bell Room

Girl 1: What’s your bio conference topic?
Guy: I’m doing inbreeding!
Girl 2: What’s that?
Girl 2 flashes girl 1 a bewildered stare.
Girl 2: Sex?
Girl 1: Incest…
Girl 2(disgusted): with animals?!

—Douglas Caf

Guy 1: man, you know when we were drunk last night and thought [redacted] was in his room? turns out he was going down on [redacted].
Guy 2: that’s disgusting. dude i saw her with her shirt off yesterday and i almost puked up my free beer.
- ATOC-240

Prof: Most rapes on university campuses take place in class rooms.
Girl: Like, during lectures??!!

Girl: I’ve never seen porn.
Guy: You’ve never seen porn??
Girl: Well, one time my friend tried to show me porn on the internet, but all she could find was these girls putting milk up their ass…

Stupid Toronto Girl: “This slush is really, like, oppressive.”
Other Stupid Toronto Girl: “Yeah, I’m not gonna lie…it really is.”
- Durocher 

Student: Is it true that a McGill professor is working on a bunker-busting bomb?
Professor: Yes, because we have learned that Concordia is up to something in their bunkers
(Class: slight laughter )
Professor: Yes, that is where they are training them to deliver pizza.
(Class: loud laughter and applause)

—POLI 227 (Intro. to Developing Areas), Leacock 132

really drunk girl: (slurring her words) Oh my god, where are we going? I am so DRUNK!
other girl: Yeah, but it doesn’t matter! You won’t remember any of this in the morning!
really drunk girl: (laughs) SO TRUE.

— Alymer and Prince Arthur

(Chinese girl eating dinner with her non-Chinese friend)
Chinese Girl: “Chinese people and Jewish people can SO be friends! They’re both totally cheap, but they secretly have lots of money!”

—Lola Rosa

Guy 1 : So you play intramural hockey?
Girl 1 (?): Yeah…I play for an all guys team and an all girls team too.

–McConnell Arena