Guy (on the phone): “So can I come over? I really wanna see you…Is mono contagious?”
Girl (nearby): *glares at guy*
Guy: “Shit, now some crazy girl is staring at me.”
Girl: *stares incredulously at guy*
Guy (to girl): “That’s right! I see you!”

—McIntyre

Girl 1: My boyfriend is really excited about this new movie…300?
Girl 2: Yeah! It looks so cool! It’s about–
Girl 1: Like, bows and arrows and stuff, right?
(Pause)
Girl 2: Well, sure, it’s about this famous battle between Sparta and–
Girl 1: Yeah! My boyfriend is totally into all that…Medieval stuff.

—Roddick Gates

Girl 1 (In an argument over her promiscuity): No! When was the last time I brought a guy home!?
Girl 2: Tuesday!!
Girl 1: …that doesn’t count.

—New Rez

Guy: What do you want?… you jerkin off?… great!

—through the walls of an apartment on ste. famille and prince arthur

Girl 1: OMG, so remember how Ben stopped talking to me and I was pissed but now I’m totally over it and whatever? Well, it turns out that what I didn’t know was that his mother was dying and he was held up at knife point for, like, 20 minutes and was going through post traumatic stress so…And then I went home for reading week and didn’t call him because I thought he wasn’t talking to and that was aparently like, the straw that broke the camel’s back, like he really needed me and I wasn’t there for him or something.
Girl 2: Wow, it’s like, thanks for making me feel like a total bitch
Girl 1: I know!

—Geog 202

Girl 1: The guy working tonight is hot.
Girl 2: Nah, he looks like Tin Tin.
Girl 1: Fuck that, I’d have sex with Tin Tin
[pause]
Girl 1: I mean, if he looked like that.
[pause]
Girl 1: But… he doesn’t.
[pause]
Girl 1: God, that was a lot more awkward than I thought it would be.

—Fitness Centre

White Girl: I don’t know why I don’t like dark-skinned people…
White Guy: Maybe because you’re a racist?
White Girl (annoyed): NO. I just don’t like them.
—Shatner Lounge

Girl 1: Why are all the guys I’ve made out with in the caf at the same time today?
Girl 2: Because there’s 16 of them.
—RVC

Girl 1: I own a lake.
Girl 2: I HATE lakes.

—McTavish & Sherbrooke

Girl 1: Want to have a beer with me tonight at 4 to 7?
Girl 2: Sure..when?
Girl 1: Well…tonight
Girl 2: I know, but when is it??
Girl 1, amazed with the stupidity of girl 2: Well, from 4 to 7…
—Bronfman