Little Boy: All those teenagers are having so much fun! They must really love celebrating Earth Day!
His Dad: Oh, that’s not what they are celebrating…

—On the Lower Field during 4:20

Girl 1: I know this skinny girl with double Ds.
Boy 1: Yeah… it’s all the fucking cow steroids in the milk.
Girl 1: I am going to go drink a gallon tonight.

—Lower Field

Girl 1: Is Cuba part of North America?
Girl 2: Do they speak Spanish in Cuba?
Girl 1: Yes.
Girl 2: Then no. Cuba is not part of North America.
Guy: What about Mexico. They speak Spanish in Mexico.
Girl 2: Mexicans are illegal.

—BMH

Girl #1: “Wait! So she had the baby via circumcision???”
Girl #2: “…Do you mean c-section?”

—McConnell

Puck Bunny in Denial: Just because the last 3 guys I’ve had sex with were hockey players doesn’t make me a puck bunny!

—Champs on St Laurent

Guy: “Eggs are just chicken menstruation”
Tired Guy: “Best menstruation I’ve ever had!”

—Douglas

Drunk Girl 1 (loudly): Whoa, I feel so… promiscuous.
Drunk Girl 2: Um, I don’t think that means what you think it means.

—Metro grocery store, on St. Patty’s day

Guy (yelling): Why the FUCK don’t they have the Da Vinci Code here?!

—Redpath Reserves (the day before exams start)

British Girl: Meese, is that actually the plural of Moose?
Guy (sarcastically): Yes
British Girl: I always thought Meese was the plural of Mice! See, these are the sort of things that you don’t learn in Britain!

—Geo Lounge

American Girl 1: “OMG I just had the BEST idea!”
American Girl 2 stares blankly.
American Girl 1: “You know how like we can’t like get jobs but we still like want money…”
American Girl 2: “Yeah.”
American Girl 1 (so excited she’s about to burst): “We should sell our EGGS!!!”

—American Lit. 226 (Fall 2005 hence the job comment)