Prof: Quiet please, or otherwise you’ll never know how to launch a military coup, and you’ll make a mess of it, and you’ll DIE. 
- Poli 227 class on The Military in Politics

Random Guy on Lower Field: I’m going to devote this summer to learning, like …a SKILL… !!
Nearby girl listening in: …try reading, that’s a good one for ya to learn…
- Lower Field

Guy (presumably): Why are you playing trance at fucking Second Cup? Fucking play some music that doesn’t make me want to drop a bunch of acid and lick the wall in the back corner of Stereos
- AUS lounge

Girl 1: Hey girls, I went back for reading week and so much happaned. Remember my friend Danielle? Apparently her father died.
Girl 2: uh huh…
Girl 1: And remember my friend Dan? I called his house and his mother said he killed himself last week.
Girl 2: okay…
Girl 1: And look at my hair. My hairdresser ruined it!
Girl 2: OH MY GOD, that is tragic!
- ANTH 209 lecture

Professor: Anyways, for the next few weeks I will be teaching you about Organic Chemistry. The reason why we decided to put a organic chunk into this course, is because a number of you will never take a organic chemistry course. And without the basics of organic chemistry you would of course live a completely and utterly meaningless life.
- CHEM 120

Someone’s cell phone starts ringing with “Scotty Doesn’t Know”.  The Prof starts doing a little dance.
Prof: Damn that’s a catchy tune, it’s almost worth the time you’ve wasted.
-Prep 101

Talking about summer plans
Management Student 1: Yeah, this summer I am working with a Merger and Acquisition firm in Paris
Management Student 2: Awesome, I have an internship with a bank in Toronto.
Management Student 3: I am working with a stock broker back home
Arts Student: Yeah…I’m an arts kid, I work at summer camp
-New Rez Caf

Student: Are we only allowed to use pen, or can we use pencil?
Professor: Pen is preferable, but if you run out, pencil is better than writing in blood.
- Anth 204 Final, the Gym

Girl 1: Oh my god, i need to do so much shopping for birthrite Israel.
Girl 2: What could you possibly need that you don’t already have?
Girl 1: Well i need clothes that match sand, i mean it’s only desert out there….
Girl 2: Are you sure you have any idea what Israel is like?
—Milton and Aylmer

In the bathroom at St. Sulpice, two girls are looking at themselves in the mirror.
Girl 1: Do I look okay?
Girl 2: Yeah, you look cute.
Girl 1: Cute like you want to sleep with me?
—St. Sulpice