Guy talking to another guy: Oh my god, cigarettes and beer just go so well together. It’s no wonder after I quit I gained 150 pounds!!!
—Second Cup on Milton & Parc

Girl 1: I’m studying for my history exam.
Girl 2: Yea.
Girl 1: And the primary sources just aren’t helping–it’s like reading a story. And I have to Wikipedia every second word.
Girl 2: And the dates.
Girl 1: YEA.

Juice spills on Girl #1’s laptop, in the library
Girl #1 stares at her CD drive, where the juice spilt
The packed library room goes silent
Girl #2: Want me to suck on it?
—Schulich Library

Guy: So I’m going out with Sara, and when she leaves Montreal I’m going out with Sara … the other one. I don’t put all my eggs in one Sara.
—Burnside basement

Girl 1, leaving caf: Lets go back upstairs… I need to check if L.C. added me on facebook.
Girl 2: Yeah, and Brody.
Girl 1: Brody?
Girl 2: Yeah, Brody Jenner. J-E-N-N-E-R.
—Redpath

Slightly overweight girl: Fuck the freshman 15. I mean, I’m supposed to make fun of fat people, not be one!

—

“I know everyone claims to be anti-American, but I mean, if you want to be screwed, you’d rather be screwed by the Americans than the Europeans – at least, the Americans will pay your cab fare home.”

—International Business class in Bronfman

Girl to her friend: I mean, I looked down at my underwear and I was like, ‘Toxic stuff really shouldn’t be down there.’
—BMH

Prof: I have a low threshold for body movement!

—Psych 204 May Class

Dorky Kid playing the tennis game on the Nintendo Wii and beating all challengers.
Dorky Kid: Oh man, I can’t wait till the Nintendo people come up with the Wii-jerking-off-game.
Other Guy playing Wii tennis against him: Dude, thats gross.
Dorky Guy: Man, C’mon…you cannot tell me you haven’t fantasized about it.
Other Guy: I fantasize about Angeline Jolie.
Dorky Guy: You’re such a loser…
—Computer Science Party, Durocher