Girl 1: (Talking to her friend) I mean, I don’t know why she stored those rolls of paper-towels in her oven…
- New Rez

(Discussing a vague assignment)
Comp 206 teacher: You know, in the real world, your assignments won’t be much more clear
Girl: Well…this is NOT the real world!
- COMP 206 class

Guy: Man, it’s her birthday too? It seems like everyone’s having a birthday this year.
- Library

Girl: What time is your 8:30 class?
- St. Catherine

Guy 1: So did you do the extra credit part of the midterm?
Guy 2: Nah man, I was way too tired from jacking off all night.
- HIST 221

Girl: I bet you everyone in here is so stoned.
Boy: why?
Girl: because its 4/20
Boy (looking at his watch confused): ..but its 9:30…
- walking into Frites-Alors

(3 Girls and 2 Guys are walking, 2 couples and a single girl)
Not-single guy 1: Let’s go pick up a bottle and drink on the hill.
Single girl: Can we go to a club first so I can pick up a date? I feel like the 5th wheel.
Not-single girl 1: We can invite Enrico and Bob, they’ve been dating for a few weeks now.
Single girl: That won’t help, then I’ll be a 7th wheel.
Not-single girl 2: Then you’ll be like a minivan!
Single girl: What?
Not-single girl 2: Wait…how many wheels does a minivan have?
- St Catherine

Girl: I would only go to Queens to be closer to my boyfriend.
Guy: Eww, I would so not be your friend any more if you went to Queens!
—University

Guy: I’ll go check his Facebook to look for his Myspace.
(finds his Myspace)
Guy: You’ve made it too easy, Sir! You’re going to get raped!
- AUS lounge