Girl: I was giving him head, and I’m like “Umm…you’re 31, that’s so old.” Then he goes, “You think I’m old? I really thought we connected.” Then I said, “No I don’t think so, you’re freaking me out.” Then I told him he had to leave. He didn’t though. He slept over.
-Durocher

Girl: When is your birthday?
Guy: June.
Girl: This June?

-Milton and Parc

“I got really drunk and woke up in a corn field in Minnesota.”

-the benches by Leacock

[Guy talking to a girl about his MCAT study books]

Girl: You shouldn’t be worried about getting into med school. You should be, like, worried about getting alcohol poisoning over the weekend.
-BIO 111 LAB

Shagalicious Shop has a table outside RVC caf, offering free condoms.

Girl behind table: free condoms — take some!
RVC girl: (to her friend) I wish I needed those…
(Other girls laugh nervously)

–RVC Caf

Loud Drunk Guy: And it was only after I took at giant swig from the bottle that I put two and two together and realized that it wasn’t flat beer. It was the bottle I had pissed in earlier.
-Outside Molson Stadium

Drunk girl (at 3 pm): No, I’m NOT hiding in my vagina!! I’m NOT hiding in my vagina!!
- Lower Field

Science carnival girl: Well I got two cankers this morning… so fuck you Mark Brown*!
- Post-boat races during Science Carnival

Girl: All these sexual drinks…blowjob…orgasm…slippery nipple…they should have a drink called the Yeast Infection…….and the chaser would be Canesten…
- Peel Pub

Drunken froshie: Yo, man. What do you think is better? Christmas or Frosh?
- Milton Gates