American Guy: [Jokingly] Canadians are mostly pussies who’ll believe anything the government tells them. I bet if me and you threw down I’d win solely on the fact that I’m American and you’re Canadian.
Canadian Guy: Oh please. If you and I actually got into a real fight you’d get knock down faster than the Twin Towers.

—Outside Redpath

(a bunch of Engineers playing Halo 2)
Engineer 1: You’re raping everyone, man!
Engineer 2: Yeah, I mean, that’s illegal in some states.
Engineer 3: Uh… some?

—Engineering Lounge

Girl 1: What’s see-cut (CKUT)? Is that like the McGill channel?
Girl 2: Yeah, I think so.
Girl 1: Why does McGill need a channel? That’s so stupid.
Girl 2: Maybe it’s more of a university channel.
Girl 1: Yeah, it says “University” on that sign.
Girl 2: That’s the street it’s on!

…Girl 1: (later) I can’t believe I’m in American Foreign Policy. I don’t know anything about it. All I know is that Bush is a Republican and he’s President.
…
Girl 1 (later): Everyone here knows so much more about American politics. (minutes pass) We know where to get a nice black cardigan, and some tights.

—AUS Lounge

Professor: “We have recently seen a resurgence of capitalism in the U.S.”
(pauses)
Professor: “Oops, i mean a resurgence of capital punishment. You have to forgive me, I had a long night yesterday. I had to tend to certain vices…”
Professor: (sticks out tongue) “Certain good vices.”
(Class erupts in laughter)
Professor: (blushing) Oh god, I’ve already said too much.

—POLI 345 (International Organizations)

(Ed Note: This is a combination of two similar submissions of the same quote)

Student: Is it true that a McGill professor is working on a bunker-busting bomb?
Professor: Yes, because we have learned that Concordia is up to something in their bunkers
(Class: slight laughter )
Professor: Yes, that is where they are training them to deliver pizza.
(Class: loud laughter and applause)

—POLI 227 (Intro. to Developing Areas), Leacock 132

Girl: So how was your night last night?
Guy: I dunno, we’ll have to see what the Facebook pictures say
- SnowAP Tent

Guy: Yeah, I hate fighting with my roommate. He’s American, it makes him really aggressive.

—Redpath cafeteria

Girl #1: So, what exactly is Realism?
Girl #2: It’s like, the United States saying like, uhm, we want more power.
Girl #1: Awesome, thanks.
–outside LEA 132, POLI 244

Girl on cellphone: You’ll totally like him. It seems like he has a speech impediment…but he’s just from Boston.

—Redpath bathroom