Newfie: Newfies aren’t for kicking…they’re for loving!

—Molson

Girl 1: “So, let’s hang out over winter break”
Girl 2: “Wait, aren’t you going home to the West Island?”
Girl 1: “…What?”
Girl 2: “You live on the West Island..wouldn’t taking a presumably long ferry ride to hang out with me for a couple of hours be a waste, even though I am worth it?”
Girl 1: “…WEST OF THE MONTREAL ISLAND”
Girl 2: “MONTREAL IS AN ISLAND? WHAAAAT?”

–Outside Peterson Hall

Newfie: See, in Newfoundland, we call AIDS “the hiv” and we assume that all homosexuals have it…and therefore avoid them.
Non-newfie: …dude, that’s fucking terrible.
Newfie: Well, I didn’t say that’s what I believe, but that’s how everybody else there feels.

— St. Catherine

Prof: “Costa Rico is much better at producing bananas than Canada.”
- ECON 208

Canadian soldier (twists beret nervously in his hands): Yeah, I’m not really on duty right now; I’m actually going to school… I have to take CALCULUS.
McGill Girl: Really? I don’t have to take calculus.
Canadian soldier (drops beret in shock): That’s not fair!
- PE Trudeau Airport

Guy 1: You’re drunk.
Guy 2: Shut the fuck up.
Guy 1: You shut up.
Guy 2: No! I can do whatever the fuck I want! It’s Canada!

—Upper Rez

Girl: You’re a tory?! But you read books!  Word books!

—Leacock

Girl #1: i went to pierre elliot trudeau college…
Girl #2: pierre elliot trudeau as in the airport in montreal?
Girl #1: pierre elliot trudeau as in the prime minister
Girl #2: is he the prime minister now?

–University/Pins

Prof.: So Brian Mulroney used to sing and dance for the American bosses as a child in Baie-Comeau and when he became Prime Minister he never really stopped.
Class: nervous laughter

Canadian Nationalisms Class

Professor (in Chinese): What will you do over Christmas?
Girl (in Chinese): I will go home.
Professor (in Chinese): What will you do at home?
Girl (Blurts out in English): Party hard and drink a lot.
Professor (in Chinese): Ah. Are you from Toronto?

–EAST 230