(Prof is talking about factorials)
Management Boy: n minus n equals four!

-MATH 123, Linear Algebra and Probability

Guy: I kind of want to get my eyebrow pierced…
Girl: Don’t do that!!! It’s permanent…on your face!

—Leacock 132

(The prof had spent the entire class talking about Frantz Fanon, the Algerian writer who advocated the violent overthrow of colonial France)

Girl: Um, was Fanon American?
Prof: What?
Girl: Like, was he…American? Like, African-American?
Prof: You mean… was he black?
Girl: Yeah.
Prof: … Yes.

—Poli 231

Girl 1: OMG, so remember how Ben stopped talking to me and I was pissed but now I’m totally over it and whatever? Well, it turns out that what I didn’t know was that his mother was dying and he was held up at knife point for, like, 20 minutes and was going through post traumatic stress so…And then I went home for reading week and didn’t call him because I thought he wasn’t talking to and that was aparently like, the straw that broke the camel’s back, like he really needed me and I wasn’t there for him or something.
Girl 2: Wow, it’s like, thanks for making me feel like a total bitch
Girl 1: I know!

—Geog 202

Prof: “Oh, today is Johnny Cash’s birthday. In case you need a reason to drink.”

—COMP 280

(Girl asks question)
Prof: Well the short answer would be yes, and by yes I mean no.

—Linguistics – Syntax I

Teacher: Proving the equation is easy, but how do you derive it?
Student: You google it and then confirm the answer?

—Math 249

Girl 1: I don’t know if I’d wake up… I don’t know…
Girl 2: Um, I think you’d wake up if your bed was on fire!
Girl 1: I don’t know…

—Abnormal Psych conference

TA: Guys, I leave the labs and I find that each time, its just not clean enough. I don’t mean to be a nag here, but I’m a bit of clean freak so you have to try..
(Class gives a mumbled yes/ya)
TA: You see as I said I myself am a clean freak. In fact, one time I was in some mall and the washroom was disgusting. So I ended up cleaning and scrubbing the whole thing down.
(Class is awkwardly silent)
—Bio 112 Lab, Stewart Bio

TA: The x’s cancel, and you see, that leaves us with 7=3.4
(pause)
TA: hmmmm…that doesn’t look right.