Guy 1: I wish I was black.
Guy 2: Why’s that? It’s not the huge cock thing is it?
Guy 1: Nah man, it’s because I love seeing white men get mad and nothing gets a white man madder than seeing his daughter come home with a black dude named Tyrone.
—Campus

Prof: …and African-Americans in Africa…
—Urban American Fiction

“Actually, black people DON’T suck.”
—party in the plateau

Girl: (while watching pterodactyl porn) I don’t get it. Are they just black guys? I mean, how are their dicks pterodactyl coloured?
—RVC

Guy: So I’m thinking of going to Israel, you know, with birthright and all.
Girl: Wow! That’s so great, I would love to have a free trip to Europe!

—Law Atrium

Prof: What is the Jewish afterlife?
Student 1: Heaven and Hell.
Jewish Student: Has anybody ever been there??

—RELG 207

Student 1: Why don’t the Germans just have one word for “to put”? Honestly this is just ridiculous.
Prof: Well it’s just that the Germans are anal about their positions.
Student 2: Touche

—Sherbrooke 688

Asian girl (to her gaggle of white friends): “But I just don’t get it! Like, I mean, I’m Asian, I’m not supposed to be this bad at math!”

—McTavish and Sherbrooke

Guy: Are you Irish?
Girl: Yes, how’d you know?
Guy: You’re wearing a green sweater…

—Shatner

(Several girls sitting outside a New Rez room)
Girl 1: OMG, the story is so funny, but it’s really really long. I can’t tell
the whole thing.
Girl 2: Oh please, come on, just tell it!
Girl 3: Can’t you just abridge it?
Girl 1: What about a bridge?
(stunned silence)

—New Rez

(Chinese girl eating dinner with her non-Chinese friend)
Chinese Girl: “Chinese people and Jewish people can SO be friends! They’re both totally cheap, but they secretly have lots of money!”

—Lola Rosa

Girl 1: my friend is kosher… what is that?
Girl 2: kosher is something Hitler came up with to keep the Jews away from his food.
- Leacock 132

Ignorant liberal white guy who means well: Did you know that some Asians don’t believe that Tianamen Square Happened?
Asian Guy (not Chinese): Well, no shit, the Chinese alone only make up 1/6th of the Earth’s population, what the fuck did you expect? Did you know that some white people don’t believe the Holocaust happened?
White Guy: Yeah, but Tianamen Square was aired on television!

— outside of Solin