(Ethnic Guy starts crossing the street despite red light)
Ethnic Girl: ARE YOU CRAZY! WE CAN’T WALK INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC!
Ethnic Guy: Please! We’re ethnic. We can’t get hit jaywalking.

—University

Guy: I used to play clarinet in band, like in middle school. There was this really annoying guy who sat next to me.
Paranoid Girl: What ethnicity was he?
Guy: …I don’t know. He just sat next to me.
Paranoid Girl: Well, what was his name?
Guy: Uh, I think it was Otto.
Paranoid Girl: Oh, so he was foreign. What kind of name is Otto? What color was he?
Guy: (taken aback at the question). I think Otto might be German…
Paranoid Girl: Oh, then he was German. I guess that explains it.

—Near New Rez

(The prof had spent the entire class talking about Frantz Fanon, the Algerian writer who advocated the violent overthrow of colonial France)

Girl: Um, was Fanon American?
Prof: What?
Girl: Like, was he…American? Like, African-American?
Prof: You mean… was he black?
Girl: Yeah.
Prof: … Yes.

—Poli 231

White Girl: I don’t know why I don’t like dark-skinned people…
White Guy: Maybe because you’re a racist?
White Girl (annoyed): NO. I just don’t like them.
—Shatner Lounge

Girl 1: So what’s your last name?
Girl 2: Ghali.
Girl 1: What?
Girl 2: You know…like Boutros-Boutros.
Girl 1: Never heard of it.

—Leacock

“I would sacrifice a million asians for $10 Sushi.”

—AUS Office

Girl 1: Oh, I loved it so much, it looked like an Igloo Person!
Girl 2: …an Eskimo?

—Douglas

Guy: A thousand Jews on a thousand type-writers couldn’t write the the stuff that’s on Overheardatmcgill!

—Burnside elevator

Student (in Chinese): I drink beer faster than my “mei mei.”
Teacher: What were you trying to say?
Student: I drink beer faster than my grandmother.
Teacher: “Mei mei” is younger sister.
Student: Oh. That works too.

—Arts Building

White Guy: “Asians are so smart that they can make cars but can’t drive them.”
Asian Guy: “Yeah, we’re not good with motor skills.”
White Guy: “But you like, swing swords and shit.”

—Schulich 5th