Girl 1: So wait your boyfriend is from Mexico and he doesn’t speak English?
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: So do you speak Mexican?
Guy 1: (amid eruptions of laughter in the group) You are aware that Mexican is a nationality and not a language, right?

—Upper Rez

Guy 1: You know what I really love. It’s this new way of assigning roles to you using your name.
Brown Guy 2: huh…?
Guy 1: You know, when i call you tandoori boy it means you should make tandoori. When i call you garbage boy it means you should throw out the garbage.

Guy 1: I’m not against people saying the n-word or the f-word (fagg*t). All I’m saying is that they are both horrible words and you can’t be vehemently opposed to one and not the other.
Guy 2: While I agree with you, I still think it’s worse to say the n-word.
Guy 1: Why?
Guy 2: Because black people WILL KILL!

—Random Apartment Building

Guy: “She basically said ‘guys can NEVER cum from head.’”
Girl: “What?!?! This basically proves that shes a lazy bitch! A lazy Mexican bitch!”

—Milton and University

Kid 1: “Why, do Jews play chess particularily fast or something?”
Kid 2: “Of course. Time is money”

–Off Campus Coffee Shop

Guy: I’m starving
Girl: Yea, me too, and we totally don’t have any potatoes at my place and they’re the staple food of my diet.
Guy: Are you Irish?
Girl:…uhh yea

–Arts West

[Spanish prof, trying to create a discussion on how to give suggestions in Spanish.]

Prof: So, why wouldn’t you accept a drink from a stranger at a party?
Girl: Porque es muy sketchy!

–Intermediate Spanish

[Spectulating as to why the brains of European men and women are longer and skinnier than those of Japanese men and women]

Asinine girl: Maybe that’s because the Japanese force their babies to sleep on their backs, so their brains get fatter. Europeans must force their babies to sleep on their sides.

::friends of Asinine Girl sheepishly look away::

—LING 390

[In New Rez room, looking at first snow fall]
Canadian Guy: you’re gonna need boots for winter
Brazillian Girl: Like, nice ones?