Guy: Last year I had the Prince of Yemen in one of my Psych classes and he was absolutely beautiful.
Girl: Did you want to marry him and do dirty things to him?
Guy: No, it was more like put-him-on-a-pedestal-and-look-at-him-all-day kinda beautiful.

-The Atrium

Guy 1: I heard that Carrottop is really buff now, like really huge.
Guy 2: He should start giving out random bear hugs.
Girl: Wouldn’t it be funny if movie stars just started grabbing people and yelling out the names of movies they’ve been in?
Guy 1: (Screaming and hugging himself) ”CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD! CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD!”

-BMH Caf

(Its 5 in the morning and two guys have obviously been overworking for at least 10 hours)

Guy 1: How did you study for the calculus final?
Guy 2: Well, my friend took the course and he failed it
Guy 1: What are you talking about… what does your friend have to do with it
Guy 2: I said I took it. Who are you talking about, which friend?
Guy 1: You said that your friend took the course and failed it.
Guy 2: I never said that.

-Burnside at 5 am

TA: What’s wrong with the US always pointing its finger at China for its human rights abuse?
Stupid Girl: It has human rights problems too!
TA:Explain
Stupid Girl: I mean, look at its divorce rates!
– American Foreign Policy conference

Girl 1: So what’s your last name?
Girl 2: Ghali.
Girl 1: What?
Girl 2: You know…like Boutros-Boutros.
Girl 1: Never heard of it.

—Leacock

Prof: War is not fun. And Vietnam certainly wasn’t fun.

—POLI-346

TA: “So following Sharon’s visit to the Temple Mount in September of 2000, the Palestinians became violent again and the Second Infitadah began. However, this time there was far more intense violence directed at Israeli soldiers and citizens, rather than just the rock throwing of the First Infitadah…This really put the Palestinian peace process into a coma…kinda like Sharon…”

—POLI 347

Model UN Delegate: That makes about as much sense as opening a gay bar in Texas.

—McMun 2007

Girl: How do you spell ‘president’?

—Gardner Hall, during the Open House

Girl 1: What’s see-cut (CKUT)? Is that like the McGill channel?
Girl 2: Yeah, I think so.
Girl 1: Why does McGill need a channel? That’s so stupid.
Girl 2: Maybe it’s more of a university channel.
Girl 1: Yeah, it says “University” on that sign.
Girl 2: That’s the street it’s on!

…Girl 1: (later) I can’t believe I’m in American Foreign Policy. I don’t know anything about it. All I know is that Bush is a Republican and he’s President.
…
Girl 1 (later): Everyone here knows so much more about American politics. (minutes pass) We know where to get a nice black cardigan, and some tights.

—AUS Lounge