(after seeing the new James Bond)
Girl, to her friend: OK, seriously now. Don’t you wish you had a dick so you could fuck Daniel Craig’s ass? It was like two scoops of butter pecan.

—Outside movie theater

Girl: “Yeah I definately slipped up there. He has my…”
Guy: “…Panties?”
Girl: “GOD NO. My dignity, yes, but I’m proud to say my panties are all accounted for.”

–Redpath

Girl #1 :  So she told me he sleeps with a stuffed animal that he holds to his chest
Girl #2 :  Well isnt that Freudian or something,doesnt that mean he, like, needs affection?
Girl #3 : ummm well if she is their half naked why isn`t he holding her close to his chest  . maybe its cause she is fat?

 –Second Cup, Milton

(Outside final exam for Intro to Organiational Behaviour, in which sexual harassment is one of the topics covered)
Girl: Oh, are you here for the exam?
Guy: No, I’m just here to stare at your tits.

—Bronf 151

Guy 1: She said she still has her V-Card, but she’s given head to over 20 different guys!
Guy 2: Well, technically she’s a virgin.
Guy 1: No, technically she’s a slut.

—-Burnside Basement

Male Arts student: The professor of that class is constantly referencing phallic symbols. Phallic this, phallic that. He interprets everything as phallic.
Male Science student: What does phallic mean?

—Subway near Stewart Bio

(Guy and girl come out of a club office)
Guy: So, are we good now?
Girl: I don’t know . . . you really hurt me.
Guy: Babe, come on, it’s like 8 inches.  It’s gotta hurt a little.
Girl:[disgusted stare]

—4th Floor, Shatner 

(couple, holding hands)
Girl: Yeah, there’s like, no way they’re going to let us work in the lab together.
Guy: Oh? Why not?
Girl: They totally think we’ll do it or something.

—McGill Bookstore Cafe

Drunk girl: I always throw a finger in the ass…

—RVC