[Two guys walk by strip club]
Bouncer: C’mon, gentlemen, we have 18 beautiful girls in here. That’s 36 tits!
Guy 1: I would have been way more interested had he said thirty-five. I’d pay good money for that.
Guy 2: Yea, or thirty-seven. It’s easy to be missing one – car accident, breast cancer, whatever. But an extra?! That’s something special.

–St. Catherine Street

“After my date tonight my neck is going to be so sore!”

–Metcalfe street 

Girl: …. Ummm…. Hand down my pants!?
Guy: …. It might have SEEMED like I put my hand down your pants, but what really happened, see, was that I slipped and my hand got stuck, and all that wiggling around was me trying to get my hand out.
Girl: Uh-hunh. I totally believe that
Guy: No, really. Because Jesus frowns on that sort of thing before marriage. I was like “I’m sorry Jesus, I’m trying!!!”

Cute Girl 1: Oh my god, last night was one of those nights where you drink so much that you black out and don’t remember anything, like how you even got home.
Cute Girl 2: Well, at least you ended up in your own bed with your pajamas on.
Cute Girl 1: uhhh….

–The Ghetto

[group of guys smoking in front of entrance]
Guy #1: It’s crazy getting roofied.
Guy #2: yeah, I got roofied once too.

–Outside Redpath Library

Girl 1: Have you heard his voice?
Girl 2: Yea, its really high pitched.
Girl 1: Do you think he’s gay??
Girl 2: No, I just don’t think he has testicles.
..silence..
Girl 2: Aww, that was mean…I’m sure he has really nice testicles!!

–New Rez 

girl : can we rent monster party?
guy: no
girl: please i’ll have sex with you

—movieland on parc

Guy #1: I love milk….especially off a woman’s teat!
Guy #2:(silence, repulsed face)
Guy #1:C’mon…its not like you haven’t tried it when you go back home.

(During a game of “Never Have I Ever” at Frosh ’06…)

Girl #1: Never have I ever… made out with my brother.
(Girl #2 drinks up, while the rest of the circle looks on, shocked)
Girl #2: What? I didn’t know he was my brother at the time!

—Lower Field

[A guy and girl speedwalk past...]
Guy (loudly and indignantly): “But you don’t want to have sex, you just want to sleep in my bed!!”

—Outside of MacLennan Library