Librarian: You do not have to cite general knowledge facts that everyone knows, such as that terrorists bombed the Twin Towers on September 11, 2000.

-Leacock 132

Guy on the phone, in a serious tone: No, I totally understand you. This is serious, this is war. This is modern fucking war. You know what, we just have to put bacon bits everywhere.

-University and Milton

First Year Guy: Seriously, my goal in life is to be on Overheard @ McGill.

-Redpath Cafeteria

Guy 1: Yeah, I heard he gave her a little Valentine’s day present.

Guy 2: I’d give her a BIG Valentine’s Day present.

*Pause*

Guy 2: My penis!

Guy: Yeah, i got her a fucking heart-shaped box of chocolate and shit.
Girl: Aww, that’s so romantic.

-Campus

Librarian: “Just start milking the bibliographic cow.”

-HIST 396

Guy (on phone): You’re just looking for the cheapest way possible to get completely wasted. Here at McGill, we have class. We drink, like, Rum Runner.

-University & Milton

(At Metro Grocery Store. New Rez Girl surveys her shopping cart.)

New Rez Girl: You know, this is gonna be SO expen.

–Metro

Prof: During the American occupation, American individuals who rewrote the Japanese Constitution made it anticonstitutional for Japan to have a standing army anywhere outside of Japan.
Girl 1: But then, how come Pearl Harbour happened??!

-Econ 335

Guy: Yo, I wanna tell a story about my girlfriend who I met on WebCT.

-Burnside