(Prof is discussing how the world is “getting smaller” due to technology)

Girl 1: Wait, why is the world getting smaller?
Girl 2: I don’t know; Global Warming or something…

-Leacock

Girl: (asks forcefully) What about the rights of the mother?

Guy: Easy there, feminist…

-Leacock

Girl 1: The only thing keeping me in university is fear of what other people would think if I dropped out.

Girl 2: Yeah, if it weren’t for society, I would totally just go to Mexico and be a prostitute.

-Second Cup

(Guys in a group)

Guy: So that settles it…women don’t always lactate.

-Trottier

Girl: (yelling angrily) Will someone PLEASE tell me what the STUPID Spanish Inqui-frickin-sition is?!

-Leacock

Guy: I am really into this Green Fashion Show and all, but sometimes I just wish there was global warming.
Girl: Seriously…

-Milton Gates

Guy: I hug you and all I get is head.

- outside Wong

Professor: Does anyone know what MAT stands for?
(Silence)
Professor: Ménage à trois.
(Laughter)
Oblivious Student: Must be a lot of French people here…

-Otto Maass

Professor: There are normal and excessive sex organs. Excessive organs are like breasts in women. We’ll touch upon them next class.

-Subway in Arts

Guy: If either of us was to become a paranoid schizophrenic and kill someone, I think it’s less likely to be me…

-Arts Building Steps