Prof: So today we’ll be discussing logical fallacies.
Girl: Excuse me Professor, but does fallacy have anything to do with fellatio or fellatious? I mean they’re similar, do they have the same origin or something?
[Prof and class stifle laughter]
- Research Essay and Rhetoric Class, Sherbrooke 688

Arts girl: You need to get a life
Physics girl: I can’t! I’m in physics!
- Burnside Basement

Secretary: Can you come in at 12:30 on Friday to see a doctor?
Student: No, I have class.
Secretary: How about 1?
Student: No, I have class
Secretary: How about 1 on Thursday?
Student: No, I still have class
Secretary: Well, HOW do you expect to see a doctor if you have class all the time?!
- Student Health Services

Law student guy: (Reading out loud) ‘Due to the rising popularity of sex…’ Wait! When was sex ever unpopular?! Oh…’rising popularity of sex offender registries.’ I guess I had to keep reading the sentence.
- Law Library

Fencer 1: See, I’m a dualist, and he’s a monist.
Fencer 2: Well, since we’re fencers, we’re technically all dualists.
Fencer 1: Yeah, I guess he just duals himself.
- Fencing Tournament

Girl 1: If I could connect to the internet, I would write FAG on your wall…
- Presse Cafe

Girl: These sunglasses are SOOOOOOO awesome, they adapt their color to the amount of light! They are SOOOOOOOO utilitarian.
Philosophy student : I hope she kills herself.
- Outside of Leacock

(Guy gets up to leave class 10 minutes in.)
Prof: Ugh. I guess I can’t please everyone (pause). I can’t even please my wife sometimes.
- POLI 360

Horny punk girl: You know what I have always wanted to do?
Horny preppy girl: What?
(As Guy in Engineering Shirt passes)
Horny punkgirl: A McGill Engineering student!!! Don’t you just feel it is something thats needs to be done at least once in your life.
- Mcconnell Enginering building

Science carnival girl: Well I got two cankers this morning… so fuck you Mark Brown*!
- Post-boat races during Science Carnival