“Just imagine that her face is on fire and you need to pee it out!”
—McLennon Library

Prof: Anyone with a penis the size of a Cathedral is exempt from this assignment.
(Pause)
Prof: Obviously, I won’t be doing it.

—EDEC 248

Prof: It’s really not that big a deal if you poop on your head.
—BIO 111

(two guys are discussing how Guy 1’s girlfriend bought him a gift)
Guy 1: Sure it’s a nice gift. I pretty much got her the exact same thing though.
Guy 2: Reciprocating gifts just doesn’t work. I mean, my mom wouldn’t go off and buy me a bra.
—McGill ghetto

(a girl from Arts decides to attend her boyfriend’s engineering class)
Girl: “Oh my God this is so weird.”
Guy: “What?”
Girl: “Why didn’t anybody bring their laptops?”
Guy: “Uhh.. it’s easier to write stuff down…”
Girl: “No I mean it’s so weird to be in a class where nobody is checking Facebook!”

—Macdonald Eng building

Guy 1: Well, girls seem to know whether they are pretty or not. They are very self-conscious about it.
Guy 2: Man, how do you know?
Guy 1: It’s like, when you go clubbing, you don’t see any ugly girls because they know that they are ugly. And they don’t associate with pretty ones.

—on Milton

Male Party Promoter: It’s gonna be crazy!! Don’t you want to get laid?!?!
Male Skeptic: Not by you!
- Clubs and Activities Fair on MacTavish

Girl: I want a baby for Christmas.
- Geo Lounge

(Two girls looking at facebook pictures)
Girl 1: “I feel so bad for people that are just so unattractive…That’s a really mean thing to say. Slap me!
Girl 2: Well it’s not that mean, at least you’re showing some sympathy…
- McLennan Library

Polisci nerd: I’m not a fucking socialist!
- Redpath Library