Prof: You probably don’t want an anvil dropped on your toe… unless you’re a masochist. Then you have other problems.
- PHIL 343 Biomedical Ethics

Guy on phone: There was no intention of rape…
(Pause)
Guy on phone: There was no intention of rape.
- Milton

Guy (to friend): I woke up this morning, and do you know what Frank was doing? Shitting on my books!
- In front of McConnell Engineering

Girl: All these sexual drinks…blowjob…orgasm…slippery nipple…they should have a drink called the Yeast Infection…….and the chaser would be Canesten…
- Peel Pub

Rich blonde whore: Even when you’re so happy ’cause you just slept with someone, you still go and screw them over and fuck someone else.
Rich brunette whore: Yeah, some people are like that.
- Outside Leacock 132, before Natural Disasters

Drunken froshie: Yo, man. What do you think is better? Christmas or Frosh?
- Milton Gates

“I’m having issues with our burlgar…”
- in front of Lola Rosa Cafe

Guy 1: You know what I hate about the French? They’re rude, annoying, dirty, and standoff-ish…(exasperated sigh), oh and you know what I hate most? They’re so damn…judgemental!
- In front of James Administration Building

Female frosh leader: I love the word fuck!!!
(Grabs megaphone from a guy next to her.)
Female frosh leader: “FUCK!!!!!!”
- frosh, lower field

Girl on phone: So she had an abortion, right?
[PAUSE]
Girl on phone: yeah, but they actually feel surprisingly good!

—Rutheford Physics