Guy: So I’m going out with Sara, and when she leaves Montreal I’m going out with Sara … the other one. I don’t put all my eggs in one Sara.
—Burnside basement

Girl 1, leaving caf: Lets go back upstairs… I need to check if L.C. added me on facebook.
Girl 2: Yeah, and Brody.
Girl 1: Brody?
Girl 2: Yeah, Brody Jenner. J-E-N-N-E-R.
—Redpath

“I know everyone claims to be anti-American, but I mean, if you want to be screwed, you’d rather be screwed by the Americans than the Europeans – at least, the Americans will pay your cab fare home.”

—International Business class in Bronfman

Dorky Kid playing the tennis game on the Nintendo Wii and beating all challengers.
Dorky Kid: Oh man, I can’t wait till the Nintendo people come up with the Wii-jerking-off-game.
Other Guy playing Wii tennis against him: Dude, thats gross.
Dorky Guy: Man, C’mon…you cannot tell me you haven’t fantasized about it.
Other Guy: I fantasize about Angeline Jolie.
Dorky Guy: You’re such a loser…
—Computer Science Party, Durocher

Girl 1: Ugh, I just got raped by another final.
Girl 2: Seems all you talk about these days is getting sodomized by exams.
Girl 1: Why do you always assume it’s anal?
—Roddick Gates

Two guys BLAZED out of their minds are playing the Nintendo wii, complaining about the lack of downloadable games
GUY #1: Fuck man, Why can’t we just download it?
GUY #2: Because they’re fucking technocrats.
GUY #1: It’s not fair, we’re living in a technocracy!

Two girls are meeting on the corner of Milton and Lorne.

Girl #1: What took so long?
Girl #2: We were so close to getting the squirrel, you have no idea…

—Milton and Lorne

Girl #1 (to sunburned girl): Wow, you’re radiating!
Sunburned girl: Yeaa, that’s the sunburn. Oh, and the fact that I get really horny during exams, and all I can think about is boning…(laughing)…. c’mon. You know you all do it.
Girl #1: Yea, I go to synagogue for that.

—McConnell

Guy on megaphone (as McGill security guards show up): Okay everyone, McGill security is here, so, ummm, just hide your weed (groans from students) it’s okay guys, we’ll smoke it when they leave!

—Lower Field, on 420

Little Boy: All those teenagers are having so much fun! They must really love celebrating Earth Day!
His Dad: Oh, that’s not what they are celebrating…

—On the Lower Field during 4:20