Girl 1: I know this skinny girl with double Ds.
Boy 1: Yeah… it’s all the fucking cow steroids in the milk.
Girl 1: I am going to go drink a gallon tonight.

—Lower Field

Girl #1: “Wait! So she had the baby via circumcision???”
Girl #2: “…Do you mean c-section?”

—McConnell

Drunk Girl 1 (loudly): Whoa, I feel so… promiscuous.
Drunk Girl 2: Um, I don’t think that means what you think it means.

—Metro grocery store, on St. Patty’s day

British Girl: Meese, is that actually the plural of Moose?
Guy (sarcastically): Yes
British Girl: I always thought Meese was the plural of Mice! See, these are the sort of things that you don’t learn in Britain!

—Geo Lounge

Girl 1: I mean, I’m trying to convince my parents that I don’t have a coke problem and I lost a grand!
[seconds pass]
Girl 1: Wow, that’s going on Overheard for sure…

—Redpath

Guy: “Okay, but what’s the biggest problem?”
Girl:”It’s so annoying! Every time I go into her room, she’s masturbating!”

—Redpath

(In class at 9:30 in the morning, girls looking at their laptops)
Girl 1: Oh my god!
Girl 2: What?
Girl 1: This is horrible!
Girl 2: What is it?
Girl 1: I can’t believe they’ve done this just before exams! They’ve changed facebook!

—Poli 243

Boyfriend: So, what should we do for dinner? Japanese food?
Toronto/lululemon girl: No, I don’t feel like japanese.
Boyfriend: Hmmm. How about sushi?
Toronto/lulu girl: Yeah! I love sushi! Let’s get that!

—24 bus

Drunk guys walking down st laurent talking about british accents
Guy: How come girls don’t like American accents?
Friends: No, they do, they do!
Guy: No they don’t, they think they’re fucking like…American.

—st. laurent

(two drunken semi-dressed people come out of a bedroom to find another drunk girl with a bleeding hand)

Drunk girl: I’m bleeding!!! Helppp!
Semi-dressed drunk girl: Shit! Put it under water!
Semi-dressed drunk guy: It’s okay — I’m a lifeguard!

—Upper Rez